...to Heaven's shore (from the song).
"He makes the storms as well as the ship".
My favorite topic - learning to trust God, and apply Romans 8:28, because 1.) the benefit is peace and contentment in my life, 2.) BECAUSE I HAVE SO FAR TO GO ON THE SUBJECT!!!
...Aaand we have PUPPY! .... a 2 yr old puppy that is. All dogs to me are puppies. He's a Pitbull Terrier, much smaller than the AmStaff that we had been used to for the last 13 yrs, and we rescued him from our local shelter. I spent some personal time with him to get an idea of his personality and I could see a lot of potential.
We already knew we wanted to keep the name of our previous dog,
Scooby. Partly in his memory and partly because I once heard that it was used as a name for someone you like to spend all your time with, and partly because it's an endearing enough name to offset peoples apprehensions about Pit bulls. It turned out good that he is all brown (well, brindle) like the cartoon Scooby Doo.
We're pleased that he is a fast learner and has a calm temperament, except for those necessary times of burning up some energy (and stubbornness) and the occasional curiosity about the goodies in the bathroom wastebasket. So when we're away or asleep he gets locked in his kennel with a treat and a toy. It's probably the most comfortable place in the house and since he likes to take his naps in there I'm guessing it makes him feel safe & secure.
He was part of our family for 12 of his 13 yrs and today we had to do the hardest favor for Scooby that most pet owners eventually have to do.
In fact as I came into the animal clinic a big burly man passed me on his way out in a hurry, with his red face wet with tears. Through the doorway behind him I briefly glimpsed a large yellow dog, his friend, laying on the floor with an IV in his arm. I assumed he had gone through what we were about to experience and my heart went out to him.
Who would think that rescuing a big tough-looking pit bull stray from our friends' yard would be the best and most loving dog we've had.
I couldn't have foreseen the emotions that this stage would involve. When the veterinarian gave us the options, we had keep in mind that the hope of possibly prolonging his life just a little while longer
that he offered us could possibly cause prolonged misery for the one who depends souly on us for his welfare. It took mental work to push aside our own selfish desires, yet that sense of betrayal instantly takes it's place.
Within a few minutes we were practically choking on the sorrow of giving him comfort and support while he left this life, and us. While watching 13 yrs being snuffed out in mere seconds I wondered if we would be second-guessing this hard decision for some time yet.
Next, fighting abandonment when we had to leave his remains with strangers. Even though we know he's not there I guess it's hard to imagine him being absent from that form we became so attached to, and didn't want to let go of.
Now come the guilty memories of times we vented our frustrations, and didn't like taking the time to get his food ready or for walks & playtime. Feelings I know a dog is unable to hold against us but now seem to beat us up.
And of course the longest emotion will be dealing with that empty spot. It''s just a normal part of caring, to make a place for them in our hearts and routine when you interact with them all day every day. I still long to make him happy with a treat or a neck rub, missing his happy greetings and how he always wanted to be near me. Realizing he's not anxiously waiting to be fed or to be let outside. Still thinking you hear his tags jingle, and the neighbors dog barking makes you think it's him (just for a second),
Time seemed to move so slowly as our minds tried to accept this finality, but eventually just living life helped detract from too much wallowing. Wanting to give and receive the love and companionship to another animal again, and looking forward to give it the chance for a life that Scooby enjoyed helps even more. Never to take his place, but to fill some void that you can't explain even though you're life is already so full of love. He had a long happy life and we're thankful that his death was as short as we always hoped it would be.
Scooby at 1 yr old - and at 13 yrs old
Like everyone else we hate the pain that we know has it's part in preparing us to endure the certainty of other hardships. But if we don't let them build upon each other we will crumble under them.
I don't want to hurt whenever I look at a photo or a vacant spot, yet at the same time I don't want to forget all the love and joy connected to it. The years of good memories will always embellish our lives, but will also always give our heart those uncomfortable little tugs.
Taking the good with the bad is how we strengthen, and "learn to be content (cope) with whatever state we find ourself." Phil.4:11
I can't believe it was almost 30 yrs ago we wondered if the Lord was going to let us keep Stevie. Not only did he have to stay in the hospital 9 days after birth for being underweight but also jaundiced so bad they were considering a blood transfusion. 5 months later he was under a hospital oxygen tent with double pneumonia and a partially collapsed lung. You could hear him sucking in each breath with a high-pitched wheeze as we came off the elevator down the hall each morning.
When they brought the thing in to suction his lungs, to have it close by as a last resort, I began spending the nights with him. That's when I noticed my first grey hair, sticking out like a very long white strand of kinky steel wool, at age 28. In a pivotal moment in my faith I knew I had to bring my mind to a point that I really wanted what God wanted in order to have the peace that real trust can bring. We never know the number of days God planned for us. If this was all the days He intended Stevie to bless our lives with then that's what I should want too. I could no longer pray to let me keep him. I mentally placed Stevie's body into God's arms and had peace with knowing he belonged to Him anyway, and put His will over mine. Who can know the mind of God? He wanted Stevie to stay here for now, and He wanted me to come to a place of learning how to trust. Learning to give God the reins isn't a once-and-for-all event though. We have to make the decision to trust on a regular basis. It doesn't come without a mental battle, where you win when you surrender.
Through the years he began to outgrow some problems. Like the aspirations caused by uncoordination between breathing and swallowing which probably caused his asthma attacks. The tiny hole in his heart became "unremarkable". His undersized esophagus seemed to expand just enough to minimize food choking spells. You wouldn't think now that he had any of those problems. He has been a happy, friendly kid enjoying life, and many people enjoy their time with him as well.
Psa 71:6 By You I have been sustained from my birth; You are He who took me from my mother's womb; My praise is continually of You.
Stevie has no choice about some of his "friends". Since he must accompany me most of the time when I leave the house for very long he is forced to put up with my choice of friends.
I shouldn't say forced though, because he loves just about anything that gets him out of the house and has formed more of an attachment to my friends than I wonder that I have. After all he has grown up with them and they accommodate him joyfully with love as well as incessant teasing.
Our last big friend activity for this summer was a day trip to Saugatuck to ride the Star of Saugatuck, a 1 hr cruise with historical narration. Then to the exciting part, a 30 min dune ride. There was a 10 min stop on a hill overlooking the scenery with lake Michigan in the distance.
Many authors of the old hymns use almost poetic wording at times. It's worth it to take the time to understand what we are singing.
Throughout the ages Messiah was prophesied as the only Redemption from our guilt, the Rock to build an uncrumbling faith on. Our sin cannot be in the presence of God's holiness, so being a loving Father, God protected Moses from His presence using His own hand to shield him in a cleft of a rock, a picture of Messiah's salvation. Ex. 33:22.
When Christ's sacrifice became our ransom He provided our only access to God's presence, a hiding place from the Fathers justice. Just as Moses did not merit receiving God's presence or protection, it is only because of a loving Father's own choice that we receive unmerited favor from His own hand.
No amount of works or sorrow can justify us, we can only stand before the Father enrobed in the fulfillment of that ancient promise. Shielded within the protecting cleft of the One who paid the ransom for the demanded wages of our sinfulness.
Although Moses was burdened with trials traveling outside a homeland, God provided strength, sustenance and even joy, as well as a future hope. Just as he does for His own people today
"If we are of that ROCK, then we are the children of Abraham, the children of faith. We are in Christ Jesus, the Seed of Abraham. We are Sons of the same Father God, joint heirs with Christ, our ROCK" (Joseph Gaut - righteousnessofjesus.com/our-rock) - Isaiah 51:1-2, Ephes 1:15, Rom 8:15
Our very dear friends are moving from our area (NW Ind) to Oklahoma. Stevie and Shawn have known each other fro many years since early rehab classes, and now they are young men about to enter their 30's. Their vocabulary may not be easily understood by anyone else but they communicated perfectly to each other and even though, because of a 40 min drive, they didn't get together often they were always best friends and their phone calls could last up to an hour. I cherished the time spent and the phone calls with his mom Bonnie as well. Besides having sons with Down Syndrome in common, we are Christian sisters and could share our life, knowing we could understand where each other was coming from.
This social networking age makes it less sad, and less difficult to keep relations going pretty much the same, except for the physical contact you crave from someone's company. We have still yet to get the Skype camera thing up and going but that will help take care of one void when you long to see a friendly face you've been missing.
While Stevie & I were with some friends for dinner we all just didn't want the beautiful evening to end. We decided to take in the view and fresh breezes off lake Michigan at the Portage Riverwalk by the US Steel Midwest plant, Portage, In.
Not until I'm perfect and in Heaven, because then I'll have shed everything that hinders REALLY knowing Him.
When I think things go wrong, my spiritual immaturity causes me to fear - be angry - confused - (insert other distrust here). Even though we grow in trust by learning more about God and experiencing His hand in our lives, we aren't going to ever "arrive" at the end of spiritual maturity. The Holy Spirit enlightens my understanding enough to see things only through a dark glass until the day I get to understand how HE sees, and experience that perfect trust.
Sometimes I will get impatient with the slow growth of trust in some area of another believer's life and have to think that God must get impatient with the laziness of my pilgrimage. Am I sincere in my rate of growth? Sometimes I forget that He wants me to become like Him, but more often than not I, just avoiding the fight that requires. It means letting go of the importance of my own concerns. Maybe I think God won't take care of them the way that I like, so again, not trusting enough to accept HIS outcome.
When God allows those hard things into my life it takes real focus to know He is totally in control even when He allows things to remain "bad", or even possibly lead to death, which we usually think of as "bad" also. If He wasn't in complete control of everything He wouldn't be ALL powerful and worthy of our trust. Therefore these hard things have to be meant for my good, in some way that I may not know while I'm alive. Probably mostly for concreting my trust, and for bringing me to a place where utter helplessness forces me to accept His control. Sometimes the way in which I handle devastation may be for the sake of those who are on the sidelines. When we come through the end of a trial we say "God is so good", but He is also good when He sees fit NOT to bring us through it here on earth and the ending is when He brings us home. Even if for many people that end is after a whole lifetime down the road. Should we think He is not good when He allows people to live their lives in awful circumstances? Does He have to explain Himself? Am I more worthy than Job? Where were you when He spoke creation into existence?
I hope someday my life might finally show a little more trust & growth than hindrances to those who need to see Christ through me. It is what our Father created us for, to glorify Him, and to learn how He wants us to do that.
Here are some good songs on the subject of trusitng God through trials.
"Holy living is not only the refraining from doing the wrong and the doing of the right, but an insatiable desire for God's will that can only be put in the heart by the Holy Spirit, manifesting our true sincerity by glorifying Him through obedience." Chas. E. Orr - Ps 42:1, Php 2:12, 1Thes 1:7, 1Jn 2:4, Num 15:30
I wish I would ask myself more often "does my life read as a letter from God or merely as a memo of my intentions?" When I hear people say that God doesn't make us His puppets I always wish He WOULD make me one so that the cares of this world wouldn't effect my decisions, making so many of them hypocritical. If I want to be "so heavenly minded that I'm MORE earthly good" why don't I?
I once heard that ALL sin is based in self-centeredness. so I started thinking about all the kinds of sin (even seemingly benign character flaws) and I couldn't find one that didn't have it's root cause in "self". In the garden satan appealed to Eve's ego ("you will be like God"), and then second-guessing God ("did He say...?) is really our way of getting around His authority so we can do what WE want. ME! That's the only desire of a newborn baby, to learn how to get what he wants. His parents have to gradually tame his selfishness throughout his childhood. Training his will to submit to whats right not only prepares him to avoid horrible consequences in a lawful society, in the workforce, in a marriage..., but prepares his heart to submit to the Holy Spirit when He convicts him to repent, and when He continues to convict him to live out his salvation, thus avoiding more horrible consequences.
I definitely don't have enough "fear and trembling" when living out my salvation, or as the amplified version says "...reverence and awe" Php 2:12. We all have a human nature, that tendency to quench what we know is right in favor of our own desires. For some it is a harder personal trial than it is for others. In chapter 7 of Romans Paul tells of his battle with "self will", even though he was a very determined and courageous warrior. As impossible as it seems God wants us to set Himself as our goal (1Pet 1:15-16), not so we'll feel defeated and overwhelmed, but that in our desire to please Him we'd feel exhorted and have direction to reach that goal (1 Cor 9:24).
God doesn't give us what we can't handle, so a lot of times my failures are because I don't want to step out of my comfort zone or to quench my tendency for self-pity, in order to decrease ME and show God's power in my life. -Jn 3:30-31. When Paul asked "who will set me free from this body of death?", I feel so connected to that expression of shame (wish I would feel as connected to his zeal and holiness also). He knew the answer to his question though. That the battles with our own will won't be there in eternity, and that realizing our inadequacies teach us to rely more on a loving Father's daily grace. He gave us a gift when He captured us. A shared hatred for the sin in those He loves. Hatred for sin stirs our heart for obedience, and at least some level of growth, in spite of our numerous shortcomings. So, if a thirst for obedience is not manifest in your life....you know what scripture says about a faith without works (the obedience from the heart)? The book of James has a lot to say about that.
If we would resist more of ourself and let more of Jesus take over we could live like this earth, and the "stuff" in it, truly is not our home! As much as I want to be His puppet I know He would rather I gave Him my efforts, those struggling pushes toward Himself that reinforces my love. I wish I would give Him that more often, much, much more often. Since we know our purpose here is to be His ambassadors why is it so hard for us to keep all these personal ties in perspective. When we return to our forever home, this life we have built for ourselves will be like a blink. Will we even care to remember it? What really mattered will be what is there with Him.
People might think that Steve and I are a little delusional but after all these years we're still in love with each other. Well, I think Steve is lupie anyway, he still tells me I'm pretty, haha. Along with all the years of happy and loving memories we've had our share of fights and sometimes long periods of distancing. But it seems each time we've make the choice to tough it through taught us to prove the amount of love that was there to make a vow on, and seemed to produce some kind of a glue. I know that toughing it through doesn't guarantee to make your love and gratitude for the other spouse grow, in some cases it can cause repressed bitterness. That requires a hard think, a changed mindset. Paul said he had come to a point where he could do all things in Christ. Through God's strength he could adjust to any situation he found himself in. I've heard of tortured Christians adjusting their mindset to where they could thank God for their situation and serve Him there joyfully. That is really putting to the test "In everything give thanks", but it also shows it is possible. I don't know why our Father even bothers to be so merciful with our marriage. There is no promise of having good without taking the bad as long as we're in this ol' world.
Along with those romantic candlelight meals we also have to learn to eat crow and swallow pride and unfairness. Sometimes marriage can be a battle ground (battle of the wills anyway) and making the decision to stay and care about the person God chose for you has brought us a closer friendship and a comforting assurance of our love, knowing what we can expect and hope in each other's commitment. Marriage is more than giving your word to someone, which doesn't seem to be as highly honored as it used to. It is more importantly a vow made to your Father (who wants to help you keep it, and Who will hold you to it) and trusting the outcome to Him. I know, easier said than done. Like I said I don't know why He let's our marriage slip on through.
My heart goes out to those who have a lot more hardship in their marriage than we've had. My previous words don't imply that God won't tolerate divorce within His described guidelines because we are imperfect people, but there are consequences for rebellion, and blessings for obedience. Although we like to give God a deadline for receiving those blessings, He brings them in His timing, which is more perfect than whatever time we are expecting. He created time and He created what He wants time to bring with it. The ultimate end and blessing? Our time of eternity with Him.
"God cares more about your obedience than your happiness" Warren Wiersbe
A lot of people say God just wants us to be happy. He does of course but it's not His priority for our life.I think He expects us to attain it through a different route than is commonly thought. True happiness and peace is the result of being in fellowship with Him. So I guess that means our obedience is His main concern since we can't achieve (true) happiness without it. After all, would you be experiencing the true meaning of happiness if you hadn't obeyed His call to repentance? And that was only the beginning of the "obedience = happiness" blessings.
I remember this song being popular back when I first became a follower of Christ, and I still love the words, maybe if just for the sake of reminiscing.
For my Steve - always in my corner, assuring me that you'll be here no matter what. Thanks for being my #1 fan, my comforter, encourager, buffer, my leader and "hang-out" buddy - and just whatever I need for whatever I/we are going through. You've made me your #1 fan, too! Another happy anniversary Honey.
And of course I have to add OUR song.
I guess we relate to this so much because being immature (and against counsel not to), we got married after only knowing each other for 4 1/2 months. I'm sure people thought we wouldn't last, statistics really are against it so we are against doing what we did, except for some situations. Shouldn't that be our view for all our mistakes? But in spite of ourselves, with determination and with the Lord's grace, for His own reason He kept us together.
As with many couples there's been a few times that we haven't always thought that we were there for each other, who hasn't had those rough waters, but when the fog clears it proves if we really are still willing to be there, and still willing learn how to hang on through God's grace.
His mercy has been the only thing that has kept us as the only ones for each other ever since we were 18 (37yrs). Never throwing in the towel on each other is indeed difficult without the help He has for some reason bestowed on us, and is a whole lot to be humbly thankful for. Having a life partner who is also a soul mate is no small blessing. We spent a lot of years figuring out compromises and tolerating quirks to make it work, so thanks for staying the course with me Steve, and thank you Lord for the gift of our marriage.
I like thinking about all the good stuff.
THE GOOD STUFF
Well, me and my lady had our first big fight So I drove around till I saw the neon light
The corner bar. it just seemed right so I pulled up.
Not a soul around but the old bar keep down at the end lookin' half asleep
But he walked up and said, what'll it be? I said the good stuff.
He didn't reach around for the whiskey. he didn't pour me a beer.
His blue eyes kinda went misty. He said you can't find that here.
[Chorus]
'Cause its the first long kiss on a second date, Momma's all worried when you get home late
And droppin' the ring in the spaghetti plate 'cause you're hands are shakin' so much
And its the way that she looks with her eyes and her hair.
Eatin' burnt suppers the whole first year and askin' for seconds to keep her from tearin' up
Yeah man that's the good stuff.
He grabbed a carton of milk and he poured a glass, I smiled and said I'll have some of that.
We sat there and talked as the hour passed like old friends.
I saw a black and white picture and it caught my stare. It was a pretty girl with bu-font hair
He said that's my Bonnie, taken 'bout a year after we wed.
He said I spent five years in the bar when the cancer took her from me.
But I've been sober three years now 'cause the one things stronger than the whiskey
Was the sight of her holdin' my baby girl
The way she adored that string of pearls I gave her the day that our youngest boy Earl married his high school love.
Its a new t-shirt sayin' I'm a grandpa, bein' right there as our time got small
And holdin' her hand when good lord called her up
Yeah man that's the good stuff.
He said, when you get home she'll start to cry. When she says, I'm sorry, say so am I.
Look into those eyes so deep in love and drink it up 'cause that's the good stuff.
I got a snow ice cream recipe from Sharleen, right when I was about to look into if it is okay to eat snow, in large quantities that is.
We all probably ate snow as a child (and a lot worse things than that) and were told to watch out for the yellow stuff. nowadays there is more pollution in the air but it is still fun to catch the flakes on your tongue or even grab a handful to melt in your mouth.
Most sites I visited said just be careful if you live around large cities or industrial sights. We live near the bottom curve of Lake Michigan, outside Chicago and a few nearby steel mills. So I tested the snow according to instructions on one site.
Fill a large bowl with freshly fallen snow, let melt, strain though a coffee filter fitted over a glass.
If you can't see any debris on the filter, check with a magnifying glass. In my case I could clearly some see tiny dark, and lighter, specs.
It may not be a good idea for folks in my area to eat more than small amounts of fresh snow at a time. But you can make your own judgement. After all, our immune system takes care of some amount of pollution every day, in our foods & water, breathing, etc... The FDA allows a certain amount of rat droppings/hair, as well as other items to be in our food when tested because they cannot keep it all out of our food supply, so I don't think a little pollution is any worse. I once watched a medical show describing all the yucky stuff we live with every second of every day, yet we have no idea because our immune system either gets rid of it or helps our body accommodate it. We need to be exposed to a certain amount of it in order to build resistance. Depending on your age, health, the amount of pollution in your area and your portion size, it's up to you. I think I will make the snow ice cream recipe as a fun thing to do. There are recipes all over the internet.
SNOW ICE CREAM made with fresh milk
1 gallon fresh clean snow
1 cup sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
2 cups milk
When it starts to snow, place a large, clean bowl outside to collect the flakes. When full, stir in sugar and vanilla to taste, then stir in just enough milk for the desired consistency. Serve at once. Serves 4.
SNOW ICE CREAM made with evaporated milk
1 (12 ounce) can evaporated milk
2 eggs, beaten
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3/4 cup sugar
1 gallon fresh clean snow. - Slowly combine first 4 ingredients in large bowl until smooth. Gradually stir in snow until mixture reaches desired consistency. Serve at once.
Stevie has known Charlie for many years, and ever since she was his high school prom date I have chaperoned them on a couple of dates each year. It's usually a movie and dinner.
This time they went to see the movie Tangled, a funny version of Rapunzel. I laughed as much as they did.
Then off to The Chocolate Cafe. After all that popcorn, we only got a cup of hot soup and dessert. The "Fondue For 2" was just enough for the 3 of us.Yummmm!
Our family had Christmas dinner and gift exchange on Christmas Eve this year because Deliverance had to work on Christmas day.
Well, she had to work on Christmas Eve too, but not in the evening.
Deliverance and Josh hosted downstairs with a cozy fire in their fireplace and mellow Christmas music.
As usual there was lots of good food and sweets. I think the star of the show was this chocolate cake Deliverance made with peppermint mousse filling and ganache coating.
Stephen received some karaoke games and microphones. He loves to sing, mostly alone in his room.
(Oh, btw, Steve requested I cut him out of the photo on the internet)
While we were art my parents house I found myself with nothing planned one day so I made my grandma's sugar cookie recipe, only I altered it slightly by adding a pane of stained glass in the centers.
This takes a lot of extra time but is pretty easy. Just crush a hard candy (Jolly Ranchers are best) to fill into each center cut-out just before they are done cooking.
It is easiest to get them off the cookie pan if you bake them on baking parchment so you can slip it off the pan to cool before you peel the cookies off.
I also made my mom's cream cheese cookie recipe. One of my all time favorites.
We took a few days to run up to Michigan to visit my family a few days before Christmas since Steve managed to actually get this time for one of his vacation weeks..
Besides my parents, this also included seeing my brother, sister, niece and her husband.
We don't often get to see them around the holidays so it was a special treat.
Deliverance and Josh invited us downstairs to their place for Thanksgiving dinner, and Josh's brother Chris was there too.
It is the first year they have their own completed kitchen. I welcomed it gladly, since it would mean a lot less cleaning up for me.
I decided to try a recipe I found on line for sausage stuffed mushroom caps. They went over very well.
Deliverance's chipotle-augratin potatoes are always a big hit, as well as her sweet potato casserole with pecan praline topping, and pumpkin cheesecake. Sooo easy to partake in the traditional Thanksgiving over-indulging.
It was also too difficult to choose just one of the yummy desserts, so I allowed Stevie to have a sample of each one. His favorite course.
Petunias are pretty hearty. When I forget to water my flowers for a few days in a heat wave, most of them don't survive, but after a while my petunias will make a comeback.
When I don't dead-head them they tend to loose all thier leaves and die back, but if I cut them back short they may take a month but will come back to their former glory.
Our first real snow that stuck around for a few days before the weather warmed up again, snuffed out my other flowers for the rest of the year, but this amazing pot of petunias don't seem to be phased a bit.
If Steve's mom leaves the Alzheimer's unit someone has to be with her. Her unit was having a little celebration but more fun was to be had where the singer and visiting children were.
So Steve, Stevie and I helped mom attend the party in the larger common dining room.
She loved watching the little ones go trick-or-treating from table to table where the patients could give them something from the bowls of candy on each table, and then watch them dance to the songs the visiting singer sang throughout the hour.
She wanted to hang on to the cat ear headband I made for her costume. The aids said she played with it for days, putting them on her as well as any client who would let her put it on them.
So proud of our kids Deliverance and Josh. (and Stevie too of course, but it's not his anniversary)
They have been through a lot of hardship and experienced a lot of blessings packed into the 9 short years they have been husband and wife.
A lot more than Steve and I probably ever have.
I'm Linda, a stay-at-home wife. God has blessed my life with a loving husband of 36 yrs, and 2 wonderful children. On top of that, our really great daughter has added a really great son-in-law to our family. My adult son who has Trisomy 21 (Down Syndrome) is a joy to have in our lives.
I try to live a simple, slow-paced uncluttered life, to help keep my health problems under control. So this blog will be simple but hopefully of enough interest to keep you coming back.
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